Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by… other people’s comments/opinions about your parenting choices?
I quote Mean Girls here, but seriously…the judgment and shaming in the parenting world is so overwhelming and confusing! It’s hard enough to know what is the right choice for your baby and your family. Then you have all of this external chatter around you making you doubt yourself, when honestly, you probably ALREADY doubt yourself!
Think about all of the divisive parenting worlds out there…
Breastfeeding vs. formula (by the way, where does pumping and bottle feeding fit in here?)
Sleep training vs. no sleep training
Baby led weaning vs. purees
Extended rear-facing/maxing out car seat limits vs. forward facing at 2
Screen time vs. no screen time
Organic vs. Conventional
Why does it have to be so black and white? So dogmatic? Once we’ve figured out what makes sense for us, why do some of us feel the need to push our beliefs onto those around us?
Can we start supporting each other in whatever choices we make? Can we give each other grace that we are all just doing our best? Can we accept that someone else’s beliefs may not make sense to us or align with our own, and that is ok?
If you are struggling with making decisions or choices for your family, here are some great steps to get to a place of confidence.
- 1. Find out what are the current recommendations
- 2. What makes sense to your family?
- 3. Find your support system and verbalize your goals.
- 4. Adjust goals as needed when life happens.
Now that you have some steps to help you get to a place of confident decision-making, let’s also find ways to do our part to eliminate shame and judgement from the parenting space.
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-The next time a parent mentions something that they do differently from you, instead of saying what you do and why or disagreeing with them… how about you just say “that’s awesome! Good job”
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-When you see a parent make a choice that you don’t agree with, and you get that feeling in your body of high alert and defensiveness (your heart starts racing, your jaw and shoulders get tense, your chest tightens)… take a moment to figure out where your feeling comes from, take some deep breaths, and remember that every family gets to choose what works for them.
- -Find ways to cheer each other on and support each other.
Parenting is hard enough to navigate. Let’s get rid of the judgement and shame and just keep doing our best!
Sending lots of love to everyone out there…and to quote Frozen 2… because I’m a total nerd…
Just do the next right thing
Take a step, step again
It is all that I can to do
The next right thing
I won’t look too far ahead
It’s too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath, this next step
This next choice is one that I can make